It’s been long since I updated this space properly. Mostly, it is because life hasn’t been much of a page-turner. Those last weeks of school were just Mon/Tues/Fri in school, Wed/Thur at home and Fri/Sat at church. It all flew by so fast, I don’t recall anything memorable. All I did was to churn out essay after essay. Basically after week 9 I morphed into a hermit. I only met John 2-3 times a week or less. Also, the time spent was not quality time. ):
Anyway, I’m really very thankful for John, who is always willing and available to help. So many times he sacrificed sleep to help me vet my essays. He put up with all my mood-swings and diva attitude. For the past month my mantra was I’m very busy I can’t meet you!! He had wanted to watch Side Effects with me for the longest time but I think I pushed it away for 3 weeks or something and now it probably isn’t showing anymore. =_=
Here John edits my essay while I kiaoka on his lap haha!
Yet during this semester, amidst all the stressful deadlines, I made time for friends in school. Year 3 sem 2 and Year 4 sem 1 I literally had no friends. Even though I had seminar classes, my schedule last semester was such that I was in and out of school so quickly I never had time to hang out. This semester I actually made the effort to hang around in school longer. I don’t wanna graduate with just a degree? That’s so sad..
I started to get closer to this bunch of PS girls, who were coincidentally all Christians! When we have lunch together, we have this thing where we cross our fingers like in a “twist” when each of us get our food, and the last person to do the “twist” has to say grace for everyone. Haha! At first it was a little strange for me that my PS friends are praying! I mean I guess I compartmentalize my friends somehow? Church friends pray, PS friends debate, 4I friends have good food, windsurf friends drink beer, besties have sleepovers HAHAHA am I weird?
Haha anyway there’s really an interesting mix of personalities in this group. From left to right: Victoria, Linette, Rachel, Sarah, Eunice, Shawn, Me, Jane. From the fashionable to the straightforward oddball to the motherly to the tomboyish… I’m really thankful for this group because I had no friends and they kind of “took me in” and always asked me along for lunches, exam collaboration, etc.
Other than these PS friends, I also scheduled weekly Tues lunches with Junli during my 3h break. Sometimes Zen joins us too. With Junli and Zen conversations are more relaxing in a way. There is a certain sense of comfort with old friends. The same feeling when, you kick off your shoes upon reaching home after a long day. Just a comfortable, no-airs atmosphere… They also give my advice from time to time! Thankful for my lunch kakis!
Our last lunch together in Week 13. :’(
So yeah, for the past month or so, other than my schoolmates, John, and my church group members, I hardly meet anyone else. :O
Right now, having completed all my assignments, I can finally start studying (when people start their exams). My exams this semester are really late: 7, 8, 10 May. But it’s also good because if not I wouldn’t have time to study at all. I actually miss studying?! This whole semester has been hardcore research and writing throughout. I actually miss just pure, simple studying from the notes provided. I’m not sure if anyone can relate to this -_-
There’s so much to look forward after the exams and so much to think about… Since graduation is just on the horizon, everyone is asking what I wanna do next. I guess I was very confused, and I was and perhaps still very pressured to do the right thing and get a job pronto.. But I’m taking it easy for the next half-year actually. Shall write another post on this.
abrupt end. Time to sleep. Tomorrow I shall start studying!
tempted to move my blog to tumblr.com.
Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! - 2 Cor 6: 11-13
“If unipolarity is so robust, why do so many writers hasten to declare its demise? The answer may lie in the common human tendency to conflate power trends with existing relationships. The rush to proclaim the return to multipolarity in the 1960s and 1970s, to pronounce the United States’ decline in the 1980s, to herald the rise of Japan or China as superpowers in the 1980s and 1990s, and finally to bid unipolarity adieu after the Cold War are all examples.” – Wohlforth, 1999
I am now writing an essay on US hegemony, and as I read this para, I found that it corresponds nicely to my recent thoughts about “two points do not make one line”. Walking home after tuition one day, I was just thinking how graphical concepts are so different from human realities. I frequently teach linear graphs saying, “two points make one line” – if you have two points, you can find the gradient and the y-intercept. But in the case of human interaction/human character/human behaviour, two points do not make one line because there are just an infinite number of points, due to socialization and varying responses to external events. It’s a beautiful, messy affair.
I guess that’s why we always say, don’t stereotype. Or, in marriage counselling advice, never say “you’re ALWAYS not listening,” “why do you do this EVERY time?” We are so quick to judge. As long as someone does something more than twice, we judge is as his/her nature. I, too, am guilty. Worse, is when we reject any change from an individual. “That’s so not you.” “I’m not used to you wearing that.” Oh how I detest hearing that. >:/ I hope I never say that to another person.
In addition, we are malleable, so in that sense, points change all the time. Rather than static points on a graph, I think we are rather like the raindrops in Changi Airport Terminal 1.. but more irregular.
A step ahead of lamenting the speedy passage of time, a step ahead of fondly reminiscing the past, a step ahead of cherishing the present.. It is the feeling of acknowledging the inevitable and momentous change that is about to come. It is inertia. It is realizing the finality of the end of every moment, even the one being lived out at present. It is missing the present ahead of time.
Or graduation goggles.
SERIOUSLY TAI KE AI LE!